I need to get this off my chest

My manager had a meeting a while back. It was for the staff to come up with a way for the clerks to alert the nurses of a patient waiting for us in the front of the clinic. The plan was for them to page all the nurse overhead. Which ever nurse wasn't busy would go to the front and take the patient back. It sounded like a great idea at first until I realized that I was the only nurse who ever got up to go see the patient.

Right now it's not that much work because I can't really do an entire case alone. I'm still on training, so another nurse would have to see the patient after I did the initial interview/history, etc. My problem is, wouldn't it be faster and more efficient to for the nurse who would be seeing the patient and treating them to do their history? It takes twice as long for the second nurse to read the questions that I asked, ask the patient everything over again and then decide what to do. At first it was a learning experience because I didn't know how to do the interview. After months of doing the interviews I think I know how to ask a client's history. I try to sit in on the meetings between the other nurse and the patient after the fact, but it doesn't seem to help me at all because I feel like she doesn't know what to ask and she asks me what else to ask. I try to help, but shouldn't she be teaching me and not using me as a way to make her job easier?

I learn by doing. Watching her do everything is like watching paint dry. I don't really retain anything until I'm in there doing it myself.

Back to the point of the over head calling. Why is it that I have to do all the h/v/d, shots, interviews, blood work, etc. I know I'm the new kid on the block, but seriously. Why do I have to do everything when there are two other nurses there doing nothing. The manager is on the phone or is doing paper work all shift. The nurse who I'm supposed to be working with is on the phone talking to her family or in her exam room pretending to look busy. When the clerks call overhead she sits in her room and fiddles around and when I walk by she looks my way and doesn't even attempt to get up.

Why did we have this meeting in the first place when I'm the only nurse who responds to the calls? If I'm the only nurse who is supposed to see the patient just call my room instead. This paging overhead for a nurse is getting on my nerves because it seems like I'm the only nurse in the fucking building who does work or who isn't busy the entire eight hour shift.

One day non of the patients on the schedule came in. We only had flu shots, h/v/d, small stuff like that. No one was busy. It wasn't the end of the month which seems to be the busiest for everyone. The clerks were chatting up front, the other nurses were chatting in their rooms or with other co workers.

When paged over head, the other two nurses are suddenly 'busy' again. Busy doing what? There was nothing to do!!! Help out. Do a shot. I can give a flu shot in my sleep. Why am I the only one responding to pages?  URGHHH!!!

I like my job. I really do. My coworkers are amazing. I just wish things were a team effort and I wasn't worked to death because I was new. I know I have a lot to learn, but that doesn't mean they should get to be lazy the entire week because I'm there to pick up the slack.

-deep breath-

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does. I just feel like I'm being used and being taken advantage of.

Also, the little back and forth bickering between the staff gets on my nerves too. I'm the youngest person who works there, but I'm the only person who doesn't gossip about someone behind their backs. Are we all in elementary school again?

I heard the nurses arguing with one another one day. The manager was yelling at the other nurse. I just sat in my room and stayed quiet.

I feel like I walked into a train wreck of a business.

Happy but nervous

I'm so glad that I made the transition to Public Health. I can't begin to explain the difference in the way I feel when I get up in the morning and go to work. I don't dread it. I actually love my job. The people I take care of, the people I work with. They are all amazing. I don't know why I just didn't start in PH. Med surg was horrible, but I did learn a lot. It has made my transition into this setting so much easier.

Now to the bad. I have to do a sort of preceptorship doing breast and pelvic exams. I don't know why that makes me so nervous, but new things tend to make me want to throw up. My heart races and I feel sick to my stomach. I hate being observed, but I guess if I get this over with I can work alone. It probably won't be that bad. I'm sure it won't. I'll probably love the experience. I'll have to wait and see.

I'm currently trying to enjoy thanksgiving with the family. I have a few more days off to relax before returning to work. Guess I'll get back to that. 

So...um...

I don't miss med surg AT ALL.

That's about it.

Dreaming about my old job

They have turned into night mares. I wake up and am relieved that they are nightmares and not actually real. One dream involved me being responsible for 10 patients on the floor. Family members kept coming up to me asking 10,000 questions, all of which I didn't now the answer for. I was running around doing this and that. I was utterly unhappy. I woke up with my heart racing. When I realized that the horror of a job like this is over I smiled. 

I am so relieved that I don't have to deal with IV pumps, screaming alcoholics, old people with dementia climbing out of bed, needy, mean family members, passing meds around the clock, doctors who never return calls or having to call a doctor and being screamed at, the stinky smell of urine when I walk onto the floor, giving report to mean nurses, fresh op patients, ICU patients who should have spent another week in the unit but who come to my floor only to return to the ICU 8 hours later, lifting 300+ patients up in the bed and hurting my back, walking up and down a long hall for 12 hours with no break, being a waitress and passing ice, snacks, etc to patients and their lazy family members. The list goes on and on. I'm done. That fact has not quite hit me yet. I keep thinking that on Friday I'll have to go back to that hell hole and do it all over again. 

I don't. I quit that job. I don't have to go back there ever again. I'm not a med surg nurse anymore. I'm a public health nurse. 

Last Night

Started off with 6 patients. Still had the same hot mess but they are all stable now and not complaining quite as much. Seizure lady's family actually went home. She hasn't had a seizure since she received medication for it. Thank God. Tonight was spent helping other nurses and saying good bye. It turns out many of those that I thought didn't care if I left or not actually will miss me...

I cried quite a bit tonight. I'm happy to be leaving, but it's bitter sweet. I love my co workers. They are awesome in every way. We all butt heads some times, but at the end of the day we had each others backs.

If my job wasn't so stressful I could have stayed there for a few more years. 2 at the very least. I love working with each of them. They are why I stayed as long as I did. The other junk (management, working short staffed, angry doctors, family, etc) is why I'm leaving. I can do my best all night and still get in trouble over the dumbest things. Other departments not doing their jobs also makes my job more difficult, but when they are working short too it's kind of understandable. Tonight lab had 3 people working the entire hospital... There were probably 3 resp therapist in the entire hospital as well. How is that safe?

And then we're working with 3 techs and they threaten to send one home if we don't have enough patients on the floor by midnight. Okay, well we shouldn't get anymore admissions after midnight then if that's the case. Ha! Tell that to them. We started off with 3 techs one night, didn't meet the census requirements by midnight and had to send 1 tech home. Guess what? We got 3 more admissions after midnight and now the techs remaining have more patients to take care of, plus they have had to split the team of the tech who left...Does that make sense at all?

They sent a nurse home mid shift too. The charge nurse took her patients.

Urgh. Tonight was okay. At the end of this shift I packed my bags, said good bye to those I would miss and then left. I didn't look back. I just walked to my car and left. I won't miss the hospital environment. I will definitely miss the people, but everything else can go to hell. If I could set fire to the rain over that place I would.

On to bigger and better things! If this job doesn't go well then...I'm done with nursing.

Here's hoping! XD

Night 2/3

It has gotten a bit better. I started with 5/6  patients and only got 1 admission, a lady who was actively having seizures and who the doctor refused to give medication for. I think he believed I was lying when I said she was having them. He actually stated that ' she was doing that in the ED.' Okay? Well, you should have done something then shouldn't you dumb ass?

I hate doctors sometimes. They think they know everything when nurses are the ones with the patient all freaking day and night. If I say the woman is seizing it's not because I want her to be 'interesting' and give me something to call you about at 3 am in the morning. It's because she's fucking having a seizure and you're too stupid to order anything for her. It literally took the doctor seeing the woman seize for them to believe us. WTF???

I...just...don't know anymore.

In addition to this hot mess, my gun shot wound patient was a hot mess. Can't breathe, family panicking. My other 'nice' family from the other night is being a bitch and writing everything down. Can't understand what changed between when I left the morning before and my coming back to work tonight. She looks paranoid. The entire family does.

Family. I know you're scared, but asking me a ton of questions about something the doctor said at 9 am this morning and getting frustrated that I don't know the answer isn't going to make me want to help you. I don't know what the doctor told you. I wasn't there. He didn't write anything down in the progress notes so I have no idea what he's thinking at this point. If I call and ask at 1 am I will be cursed out. Your questions will have to be answered during rounds in the a.m. Your mom is stable and resting quietly. Can't that be good enough for now? It's in the middle of the night. Not much is going to happen until the morning. Sorry. God damn it. I hate patient family members. Some are awesome, but you don't remember those. You remember the ones you day dream about beating to death.

-deep breath-

Day 2 sucked as well. 1 more night left.

Night 1/3

So last night was horrible. Well, that's an exaggeration, but it was by far one of the more horrid nights I've had in a long time. I started the shift off with 4 patients. Everyone did. We all got an admission before midnight. I spent a long time getting that patient settled in and didn't get to my meds until way later than I usually do. I did manage to get her full admission assessment complete prior to get family leaving so that was one less thing to worry about. I went around and attempted to care for the others.

One patient, a young man with a gun shot wound was my neediest patient of the night. His mother was overbearing. Obviously worried about her son who was shot I could understand, but coming to me every second to tell me that her son was in pain when I had just medicated was grating on my nerves. The boy was getting a huge dose of medication. If I gave him anymore he'd crash. I did give him his meds 30 minutes early to shut them both up. He went to sleep. She stayed awake and bothered him to death.

 I had an confused alcoholic in one room, a man with a chest tube, a fresh post op, a woman who couldn't breathe...a gun shot wound victim and then here comes my second admission. A sweet older lady with a very sweet daughter. They were like a breath of fresh air to my stressful night. I got them settled in and attempted to catch up on my charting. To say that some charting got left undone would be a HUGE understatement. I finished what I could, but going almost 2 hours into over time I knew I couldn't just sit there and chart. I did what I could and left.

Nothing makes me more pissed than a nurse who makes a huge deal over the little things. Giving report to the oncoming shift is something I will definitely not miss. I want to simply do my work the best that I can and then go home. No passing on information to the next nurse who will nitpick. I got two freaking admissions in one night.  One an arthroplasty of the knee and one a small bowel obstruction with an NG tube and a needy family member.

Hell, out of my 6 patients, 3 of them had needy family members. One was a young man whose mother kept insisting that her son who had been shot was in pain. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I'm sure he's in pain. He was just shot. I'm surprised he's freaking alive considering where he was shot. Pain should be the least of his problems.

Please don't come to the nursing station and stare me down. I just gave your son a huge dose of pain medication that he confirmed is working for him. What the hell else should I do? He won't try a cold compress. I offered his other pain medication and he refused. WTF am I supposed to do? Sing him a freaking lullaby and give him a massage?

Urgh.

Day one was hell. That is all.