Happy but nervous

I'm so glad that I made the transition to Public Health. I can't begin to explain the difference in the way I feel when I get up in the morning and go to work. I don't dread it. I actually love my job. The people I take care of, the people I work with. They are all amazing. I don't know why I just didn't start in PH. Med surg was horrible, but I did learn a lot. It has made my transition into this setting so much easier.

Now to the bad. I have to do a sort of preceptorship doing breast and pelvic exams. I don't know why that makes me so nervous, but new things tend to make me want to throw up. My heart races and I feel sick to my stomach. I hate being observed, but I guess if I get this over with I can work alone. It probably won't be that bad. I'm sure it won't. I'll probably love the experience. I'll have to wait and see.

I'm currently trying to enjoy thanksgiving with the family. I have a few more days off to relax before returning to work. Guess I'll get back to that. 

So...um...

I don't miss med surg AT ALL.

That's about it.

Dreaming about my old job

They have turned into night mares. I wake up and am relieved that they are nightmares and not actually real. One dream involved me being responsible for 10 patients on the floor. Family members kept coming up to me asking 10,000 questions, all of which I didn't now the answer for. I was running around doing this and that. I was utterly unhappy. I woke up with my heart racing. When I realized that the horror of a job like this is over I smiled. 

I am so relieved that I don't have to deal with IV pumps, screaming alcoholics, old people with dementia climbing out of bed, needy, mean family members, passing meds around the clock, doctors who never return calls or having to call a doctor and being screamed at, the stinky smell of urine when I walk onto the floor, giving report to mean nurses, fresh op patients, ICU patients who should have spent another week in the unit but who come to my floor only to return to the ICU 8 hours later, lifting 300+ patients up in the bed and hurting my back, walking up and down a long hall for 12 hours with no break, being a waitress and passing ice, snacks, etc to patients and their lazy family members. The list goes on and on. I'm done. That fact has not quite hit me yet. I keep thinking that on Friday I'll have to go back to that hell hole and do it all over again. 

I don't. I quit that job. I don't have to go back there ever again. I'm not a med surg nurse anymore. I'm a public health nurse. 

Last Night

Started off with 6 patients. Still had the same hot mess but they are all stable now and not complaining quite as much. Seizure lady's family actually went home. She hasn't had a seizure since she received medication for it. Thank God. Tonight was spent helping other nurses and saying good bye. It turns out many of those that I thought didn't care if I left or not actually will miss me...

I cried quite a bit tonight. I'm happy to be leaving, but it's bitter sweet. I love my co workers. They are awesome in every way. We all butt heads some times, but at the end of the day we had each others backs.

If my job wasn't so stressful I could have stayed there for a few more years. 2 at the very least. I love working with each of them. They are why I stayed as long as I did. The other junk (management, working short staffed, angry doctors, family, etc) is why I'm leaving. I can do my best all night and still get in trouble over the dumbest things. Other departments not doing their jobs also makes my job more difficult, but when they are working short too it's kind of understandable. Tonight lab had 3 people working the entire hospital... There were probably 3 resp therapist in the entire hospital as well. How is that safe?

And then we're working with 3 techs and they threaten to send one home if we don't have enough patients on the floor by midnight. Okay, well we shouldn't get anymore admissions after midnight then if that's the case. Ha! Tell that to them. We started off with 3 techs one night, didn't meet the census requirements by midnight and had to send 1 tech home. Guess what? We got 3 more admissions after midnight and now the techs remaining have more patients to take care of, plus they have had to split the team of the tech who left...Does that make sense at all?

They sent a nurse home mid shift too. The charge nurse took her patients.

Urgh. Tonight was okay. At the end of this shift I packed my bags, said good bye to those I would miss and then left. I didn't look back. I just walked to my car and left. I won't miss the hospital environment. I will definitely miss the people, but everything else can go to hell. If I could set fire to the rain over that place I would.

On to bigger and better things! If this job doesn't go well then...I'm done with nursing.

Here's hoping! XD

Night 2/3

It has gotten a bit better. I started with 5/6  patients and only got 1 admission, a lady who was actively having seizures and who the doctor refused to give medication for. I think he believed I was lying when I said she was having them. He actually stated that ' she was doing that in the ED.' Okay? Well, you should have done something then shouldn't you dumb ass?

I hate doctors sometimes. They think they know everything when nurses are the ones with the patient all freaking day and night. If I say the woman is seizing it's not because I want her to be 'interesting' and give me something to call you about at 3 am in the morning. It's because she's fucking having a seizure and you're too stupid to order anything for her. It literally took the doctor seeing the woman seize for them to believe us. WTF???

I...just...don't know anymore.

In addition to this hot mess, my gun shot wound patient was a hot mess. Can't breathe, family panicking. My other 'nice' family from the other night is being a bitch and writing everything down. Can't understand what changed between when I left the morning before and my coming back to work tonight. She looks paranoid. The entire family does.

Family. I know you're scared, but asking me a ton of questions about something the doctor said at 9 am this morning and getting frustrated that I don't know the answer isn't going to make me want to help you. I don't know what the doctor told you. I wasn't there. He didn't write anything down in the progress notes so I have no idea what he's thinking at this point. If I call and ask at 1 am I will be cursed out. Your questions will have to be answered during rounds in the a.m. Your mom is stable and resting quietly. Can't that be good enough for now? It's in the middle of the night. Not much is going to happen until the morning. Sorry. God damn it. I hate patient family members. Some are awesome, but you don't remember those. You remember the ones you day dream about beating to death.

-deep breath-

Day 2 sucked as well. 1 more night left.

Night 1/3

So last night was horrible. Well, that's an exaggeration, but it was by far one of the more horrid nights I've had in a long time. I started the shift off with 4 patients. Everyone did. We all got an admission before midnight. I spent a long time getting that patient settled in and didn't get to my meds until way later than I usually do. I did manage to get her full admission assessment complete prior to get family leaving so that was one less thing to worry about. I went around and attempted to care for the others.

One patient, a young man with a gun shot wound was my neediest patient of the night. His mother was overbearing. Obviously worried about her son who was shot I could understand, but coming to me every second to tell me that her son was in pain when I had just medicated was grating on my nerves. The boy was getting a huge dose of medication. If I gave him anymore he'd crash. I did give him his meds 30 minutes early to shut them both up. He went to sleep. She stayed awake and bothered him to death.

 I had an confused alcoholic in one room, a man with a chest tube, a fresh post op, a woman who couldn't breathe...a gun shot wound victim and then here comes my second admission. A sweet older lady with a very sweet daughter. They were like a breath of fresh air to my stressful night. I got them settled in and attempted to catch up on my charting. To say that some charting got left undone would be a HUGE understatement. I finished what I could, but going almost 2 hours into over time I knew I couldn't just sit there and chart. I did what I could and left.

Nothing makes me more pissed than a nurse who makes a huge deal over the little things. Giving report to the oncoming shift is something I will definitely not miss. I want to simply do my work the best that I can and then go home. No passing on information to the next nurse who will nitpick. I got two freaking admissions in one night.  One an arthroplasty of the knee and one a small bowel obstruction with an NG tube and a needy family member.

Hell, out of my 6 patients, 3 of them had needy family members. One was a young man whose mother kept insisting that her son who had been shot was in pain. NO SHIT SHERLOCK. I'm sure he's in pain. He was just shot. I'm surprised he's freaking alive considering where he was shot. Pain should be the least of his problems.

Please don't come to the nursing station and stare me down. I just gave your son a huge dose of pain medication that he confirmed is working for him. What the hell else should I do? He won't try a cold compress. I offered his other pain medication and he refused. WTF am I supposed to do? Sing him a freaking lullaby and give him a massage?

Urgh.

Day one was hell. That is all.

Info about being a PHN

Lots of information about PHN. I can't wait to begin. I'm scared as hell, of course, but this is better than running around all night taking care of 6 really, really, really sick people.

"I have just started working in the public health dept (less than a month) and although the pay is considerably less (salaried, so no OT or shift differential to beef up checks), I can already tell I made the right decision. I thought the hospital was where I wanted to be, but something did not feel right. The stress of critical care was too much and the long shifts (12.5 hours) was taking it's toll fast. Now I am Mon-Fri 8-5 with 1 hour for lunch. I live very close to work so I go home and unwind in MY environment. When I get fully trained (it is going to take a year or longer) I will be a functioning Public health nurse with the expanded role. We assess, diagnose and treat all sorts of conditions and do complete gynecoligical examinations (which includes breast exams and PAP smears). One minute I am doing a hearing and vision check on a school aged child, the next I am giving an immunization and doing a growth and development check on an infant, and the next treating a man/woman/teen for an STD. We even joint manage diabetics and HTN pts, as well as TB pts with local physicians. It really is a great job and I am thankful I was given the opportunity. We travel to several meetings and classes every month, so we are not holed up in the clinic every day. I have my own exam room/office which I am in the process of decorating with posters and pamphlets that I think are appropriate for my clients. I even pick out stickers for my kids, and I am becoming familiar with the TB/STD programs that eventually will be my responsibility to run for the county. It is a lot on my plate, but it is different than the daily grind of the hospital. I never thought about Public health and only applied because it was close to my house (the hospital was 25 miles away), I was put off by the pay at first, but realized that the starting pay was just that. I am due for a significant increase already in January and then again once i reach the expanded role status. I will actually be making more at the PH office next year than i would at the hospital (if i worked the same hours). To be fair, I am a recent grad ( one year ago) so new grad pay is what I am basing this off of. For those of you who have worked several years, you would be taking a significant cut). There are awesome benefits for state employees though. We get tons of days off and vacation/ sick time as well. It comes out to about 8.5 weeks off per year. For those of you sick of the hopsital, go to your state job site and search for public health nurse openings. It is worth a long look and I am so glad I did."

Written by CheesyPeach

Hahaha

Floating

I'm still floating on cloud nine. I'm so glad that I only have six more days left to suffer on the floor. They will go by quickly and I'll be going to work in an entirely new setting. I really don't know what to expect, but any change right now is one I'm willing to face.

Please let this change be a good one. I've suffered at this job for almost 2 years. I've done my job to the best of my ability and I can quite honestly say, although I learned a lot, I wish I would have gone directly into another setting. Med surg is not a job for every nurse. You will sweat, you will cry, you will wish you had never become a nurse. Two years in that hell is quite enough. I say good bye with a smile on my face. I hope I never have to return.

PLEASE GOD. Please let me never return to that hell on earth!

I GOT THE JOB!!

Little over and hour ago I got the call that I got the job at the local health department!! OMG. I am so happy. No more 12s, no more weekends, no more bedside nursing. I am just ecstatic. This job may have it's ups and downs like any job, but at least I don't have to deal with this crap anymore. Getting away from the madness is literally a breath of fresh air for me. I didn't cry. I did get teary-eyed once. I just don't think it has hit me quite yet. I only have to work 2 more weeks and then I'm done with this hospital. DONE. No more going in there and literally loathing the fact that I'm working for a place I hate. I didn't always hate my job, but the changes that have occurred are just too much for me to care for. I'm fine with change. I really am. I'm changing jobs right? But I can't handle change that doesn't help the people, but hurts the moral and the atmosphere instead.

Heading to work right now. Going to write up my notice and turn it in tomorrow morning!!

Woot!

Me

Pre employment requirements

I completed pre employment requirements Monday. That included the background check and drug screen. This, according to the sheet I received from the center, is a good sign that I've been hired. I shouldn't have anything show up in my record because, honestly, I haven't done anything horrible. No traffic violations, no arrests, no...anything. I don't do drugs so nothing like that should show up. I SHOULD, god willing, have this job in the bag. I'm so ready to give my two weeks notice and leave this hospital.

I'm tired . I really am. Staffing is only getting worse. I didn't know that going to a private 24 bed unit would mean we'd work short nurses and techs. I also didn't think it would mean people would have to be sent home each day and be forced to use their PTO just to get the hours they need to make a living.

Some people say the bad times come and then they go. Too bad I'm not willing to wait until this cycle of 'bad' is over. I know a bad situation when I see it. I'm ready for a change.

Change here I come!!!

I MAY have another job offer

OMFG. I interviewed for a position at the local health department and they called me today and told me they want to do a background check. If that clears I MAY have another job. I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about this. I've been hoping for another job and finally I took the initiative and looked for something else. If I get this job I'm saying good bye to the hospital life FOREVER. I don't need the stress. I don't need the insecurity that I feel working there and being threatened. Telling people they will be fired over something so silly as a module online is ridiculous. Fire me over almost harming someone, not over the fact that I didn't complete (even though I did and turned in twice) a freaking skill sheet.

PLEASE LORD. If you are still listening to me. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, give me this opportunity. I'll be very grateful. I really will be.  :)

Here's hoping,
Me

This job or I'm done with nursing

So, Tuesday I realized that I'm either going to stick with this job or I'm officially done with nursing. Changing job just won't help at all. I just don't like nursing. I thought if I changed the setting I'd be happy, but as I was sitting there waiting for this new nursing job interview to begin I couldn't even stomach changing from one nursing job to another one. It just seemed like a complete waste of my time. I wouldn't be happy there either because I HATE NURSING. That may seem a bit harsh. There are some parts of it that I do like. Some of patients and families are nice and I enjoy interacting with them, but a large majority of them are mean.

I just have to stick it out, do my job to the best of my ability and deal with it. If I change jobs it'll be to work in a non nursing environment. It's nice to actually realize something about my unhappiness. It's not the job...it's the field.

Edit 7/3/13- Major changes. See next post.

Skills I've done as a nurse

Skills I've done as a nurse

1. Focused Assessments
2. Head to Toe Assessments
3. Insert NG tube
4. Insert Foley Catheter
5. Remove PICC line
6. Remove JP, Hemovac drains
7. Wet to Dry dressings
8. Dry dressings changes
9. Inline Suction Pt.
10. Irrigate Foley catheter and rectal tube
11. Insert Rectal Tube
12. Draw blood from PICC, central line
13. Hang TPN, PPN
14. Administer PO, IM, IV, topical, SubQ medications
15. Hang Blood
16. Hang IgG
17. Start 20, 22 gauge IV
18. Applied a wound vac (added May 30, 2013)

I will add to this list as I think of them. :)

The Good and the Bad

Things I enjoy about my job:

1. The pay.
2. Yep, that's it.

Things I dislike about my job:

1. Needy patients and their even needier family members.
2. The sense of entitlement most patients have when they enter the hospital. No, we don't have a private room right now. Stop acting like a spoiled child because you can't have one right now. Fucking babies.
3. Being yelled at by doctors for informing them about their patient's needs.
4. Bipolar doctors who are nice one day and mean as hell the next.
5. Giving report to people who ask twelve thousand questions about things they could look up themselves.
5. Being responsible for things not being done by lab, physical therapy, xray, pharmacy, etc.
6. My coworkers
7. The paperwork
8. Working with alcoholics and extremely mean psych patients.
9. Passing medications to people who take forever to take them.
10. Being a narcotic drug pusher. Feeling like all I do all shift is pass pain medications.
11. Lifting overweight people up in the bed who can't seem to comprehend that they should try to assist in some way.
12. Having kids run around on the floor during the entire shift.
13. Family members who insist on remaining on the floor all night and don't seem to understand that they should move out the way when I enter the room. Especially those who block the door with recliners and get irritated when I ask them to move so I can open the fucking door.
14. My manager. Bless her heart.
15. Being called on my days off about stupid shit I can fix when I get to work.
16. Staff meetings that last 2 hours after a long night shift.
17. Working night shift.
18. Patients who ask for stupid things at 3 am in the morning. Example: I haven't had a BM ALL DAY. Suddenly they need a stool softener at 3 in the morning. No, I'm not calling the doctor about that. Sorry.
19. Day shift nurses who miss very important orders all day and claim to have only seen orders such as transfuse 2 units of blood at shift change even though the order was written at 9 am that morning.
20. Feeling anxious about the team of patients I'll have to take care of because I'm not comfortable with most of the comordities on the floor.
21. Feeling like I have no support on the floor most days.
22. Never getting the chance to take a break.
23. How sick to my stomach I get before each shift.
24. Open visiting hours. Yes, please come visit your family member at  2 in the morning. They don't need to sleep. And yes, bring your kids as well.
25. Family who call for updates on their family members at 9 pm. No, I can't give you any information over the phone. Why didn't you just come to the hospital during the day?
26. Being swung at, having ice thrown at me, being called a bitch by patients.
27. Damn. I hate everything...